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@Ronnysan and All:
BPD is a horror that is an endless life sucker and quite beyond ANY comprehension for someone trying to survive having it leech their life energies away - trying to 'figure it out' is also VERY draining.

You mentioned approaching 50 - and my ONLY bit of advice (if I may) is this:
Don't wait and hope - pick up and walk away before you've gotten too old and drained to do so.

As this thread indicates - go your own way - and wasting life on the futilities right now of coping and struggling to scrape up some $$ from IM/MMO is most likely to just keep you right where your at and trying to survive on hopes alone - which doesn't work.
(I speak from experiences honestly acquired on this subject.)

Got some good, living family that will take you in ??
If so - then go - make it possible - walk away - then do no contact except maybe via a lawyer ONLY - don't get past 60 and with no family to fall back to with homelessness as the only choice left in this crazy time.

Best Wishes to You for surviving and thriving despite the BPD that has been too close to you !!

Hey Ronnysan......
I sent you an updated link to the book.
Enjoy and hope things work out for you in your difficult situation.

Aways here to help.

UPDATE: just sent you some reps and saw that your rep count is 420....LOL!
(in case you don't know it's a reference to smoking weed).

(05-10-2020 09:47 PM)ronnysan Wrote: [ -> ]I'm married (imprisoned) for 9 years and my wife has an extreme version of borderline wich I found out after a couple of years living in hell. There are ten kinds of mental illness and borderline as all of them! My only escape is my pc and internet trying to create an income no matter what so I can escape this life. This is how I found this site where I'm a proud member off. For years I was only filling up my drives with all usable content which got me nowhere. Becoming Vip was a good choice and gave me more insight and keeps me focussed while forgetting temporarily the shit around me. But life is literally get sucked out of me each day. And then KABOOM! I found this post what I never had expected to find here. I'm becoming 50 years after 5 months and still surprised by all the good and sometimes weird jewels lying around here. We never too old to learn and grow. I would appreciate a link if still available. Regards to all BBHF and stay strong and healthy!

Thank you very much. I am interested. Will PM

Sent you the book Chinnu, hope you enjoy it!