11-04-2019, 10:36 AM
Which of these do you like - or are they just too sick ??
1.
Back when I was a rural doctor I knew an old couple who had a problem:
The 80+ y/o husband was on Parkinson meds that made him have unwanted boners and his wife who was ~70 was all worn out from the bonings.
So they made a deal.
They hired a young Ukranian live-in maid who did the housework and also played hide the sausage with the old man.
2.
A couple are dressing up for a formal event.
The wife gets into her dress and asks her husband;
"Does this make my butt look too big, dear ?"
The husband sighs and says;
"Sweetie, do you promise that you won’t get angry, no matter what I say?"
The wife gulps and says;
"Of course, dear, I promise, I won’t get angry."
The husband looks her over from all sides and says;
"I slept with your cousin."
A few minutes later with a big smile on her face - she shoots him dead.
3.
A seagoing ship has an accident far out at sea and sinks.
6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive it by using a lifeboat, and they somehow reach a small and deserted island.
After spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived.
So they made an agreement...
Each man would 'marry' the one woman for a week at a time.
So the first man is with her for one week, the 2nd man is with her for the 2nd week, and so on.
Everyone would be getting sex and they all agree to it happily.
It stayed that way for five years and everyone was happy enough with it.
Each man got sex every fifth week and the woman got to have sex whenever she wanted with a different man every week.
A few weeks into the fifth year, the woman got sick and died.
The 1st week after that was pretty bad; the 2nd week was still pretty bad, the 3rd week was getting even worse, the 4th week things are just bad, real bad, and the 5th week was just awful.
It got so very bad, that on the 6th week they finally buried her.
Here's my opinions:
#1 is cute, but needs a better punchline; #2 sounds like a real-life story and #3 is just a wee bit too gross for me !!
1.
Back when I was a rural doctor I knew an old couple who had a problem:
The 80+ y/o husband was on Parkinson meds that made him have unwanted boners and his wife who was ~70 was all worn out from the bonings.
So they made a deal.
They hired a young Ukranian live-in maid who did the housework and also played hide the sausage with the old man.
2.
A couple are dressing up for a formal event.
The wife gets into her dress and asks her husband;
"Does this make my butt look too big, dear ?"
The husband sighs and says;
"Sweetie, do you promise that you won’t get angry, no matter what I say?"
The wife gulps and says;
"Of course, dear, I promise, I won’t get angry."
The husband looks her over from all sides and says;
"I slept with your cousin."
A few minutes later with a big smile on her face - she shoots him dead.
3.
A seagoing ship has an accident far out at sea and sinks.
6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive it by using a lifeboat, and they somehow reach a small and deserted island.
After spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived.
So they made an agreement...
Each man would 'marry' the one woman for a week at a time.
So the first man is with her for one week, the 2nd man is with her for the 2nd week, and so on.
Everyone would be getting sex and they all agree to it happily.
It stayed that way for five years and everyone was happy enough with it.
Each man got sex every fifth week and the woman got to have sex whenever she wanted with a different man every week.
A few weeks into the fifth year, the woman got sick and died.
The 1st week after that was pretty bad; the 2nd week was still pretty bad, the 3rd week was getting even worse, the 4th week things are just bad, real bad, and the 5th week was just awful.
It got so very bad, that on the 6th week they finally buried her.
Here's my opinions:
#1 is cute, but needs a better punchline; #2 sounds like a real-life story and #3 is just a wee bit too gross for me !!